Perfect Love, Perfect Trust

Many people toss around the phrase “perfect love and perfect trust” in the Neopagan community. They sometimes use it as a defense when they are corrected by someone else, or bring it up as an argument when they don’t like what people are saying, as in, “I am TOO right, you’re all being mean, what about perfect love and perfect trust?”

I was once challenged by a community member when I pointed out that a popular book was full of shoddy scholarship, blanket statements, and just plain awful ideas. Her response was “But Author X is a respected member of the community! Where’s your perfect love and perfect trust?” Well, as far as I was concerned, it didn’t apply to encouraging people to throw basic critical thinking out the window, nor did it mean that someone was automatically immune from criticism simply because they were popular. As many of us are all too aware, the Pagan community has a long history of ignoring flaws in its members simply because we’re so wrapped up in seeing them through the lens of “perfect love and perfect trust” that we stop holding them to reasonable standards of behavior. This concept should never make anyone infallible — no matter how popular they may be.

“Perfect love and perfect trust” appears in Lady Gwen Thompson’s Rede of the Wiccae, first published in 1975, although the phrase itself is older than that. In Thompson’s poem, she states, “Bide the Wiccan Laws ye must, in perfect love and perfect trust.” The notion of perfect love and perfect trust is a simple one: that you are safe within the circle of your coven’s practices. To stand in a circle with someone is to share an intimate — and often vulnerable — space with them, and it can only be done effectively with someone whom you trust implicitly. By that same token, if we are able to love our coven brothers or sisters, we are able to trust them with our safety and our lives.

Prior to appearing in Thompson’s work, the phrase has been documented as showing up in Gerald Gardner’s early Book of Shadows. Before that, the origins of “perfect love and perfect trust” are sketchy at best. Sorita d’Este points out that it could well have its beginnings in Perfect love, perfect faith, perfect trust, and you are unassailable, found in Aleister Crowley’s 1917 work, The Revival of Magick. However, she also adds that the combination of words, in several different forms and a variety of spiritual contexts, appear as far back as 1535, when Martin Luther said, “The words, ‘Thou shalt love the Lord, thy God,’ require perfect obedience, perfect fear, perfect trust, and perfect love.”

In some traditions, the phrase is used as an entry to the ritual space, as in, “How do you enter this circle?” with the reply being, “In perfect love and perfect trust.”

Keep in mind that “Perfect love and perfect trust” is not a rule followed by all Pagans or even all Wiccans.

Also, remember that among those who do follow it, it is often applied only to coven members, and not to random strangers. Don’t let your willingness to follow a “perfect love and perfect trust” tenet cause you to leave your critical thinking skills and common sense at the door.