All Hail the Chocolate Bunny!

This is a ritual I created waaaaaay back in 2008 and posted on my About.com page, and since that time it’s been copy/pasted ad nauseum all over the Interwebs, and About/LearnReligions ended up eliminating it altogether, because reasons. I’ve heard about numerous shops and covens and groups doing this as a public ritual over the years, so if you want to do so, have at it. It’s a little levity in a time of crisis.

So, in the interest of sharing something sort of fun—and the gods know we need fun right now—I want to share with you this simply and ridiculous Ostara/Spring Equinox ritual that you can do with your whole fam damily and all your Easter candy that you’ve been stockpiling during your pre-quarantine prepper shopping.

Bear in mind, this is meant to be fun and silly. If you think the Universe has no sense of humor, click the Back button on your browser immediately to exit this page because you’ll hate what’s coming next.

The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Chocolate Rabbit

Arrange your ritual supplies on your altar so they look pretty. Kids can do this—typically the chocolate rabbits end up in the center, surrounded by an army of Peeps and several rings of jellybeans. A quick note—you might want to perform this ritual well in advance of mealtime, or all the kids will be too full of candy to eat a real dinner.

• A bag of jellybeans
• Marshmallow Peeps—chicks, bunnies, etc.
• A chocolate rabbit for each participant
• A glass of milk for each participant

First, give everyone present a handful of jellybeans. Point out the different colors in the jellybeans, and what they can represent.

As you call out each one, eat the jellybeans in that color. Feel free to be a bit goofy. Say something like:

Behold, little jelly eggs, small symbols of the season,
How we adore you!
Green is for the grass that springs from the land! (eat all the green jellybeans)
Yellow is for the sun shining above our heads! (eat all your yellow jellybeans)
Red is for the tulips that grow in our garden! (eat your red jellybeans)
Pink is for Aunt Martha’s new Easter hat! (eat your pink jellybeans)
Purple is for the crocuses that sprout along our driveway! (eat the purple ones)

Continue this until all the colors are gone—if you really want to have some fun, make the kids take turns naming off the colors and what they mean to them. When they’re all gone, call out:

Hail! Hail! to the mighty jelly bean of Spring!

Next, hand out the marshmallow Peeps. As you do, say:

Behold the Peep! The Peep is life, brought back in the spring!
Little Peep chickens, we honor you! (bite the Peep chicks)
Little Peep bunnies, we honor you! (bite the Peep bunnies)…

Continue this until the Peeps are all gone—it’s probably a good idea to limit each kid to just two or three Peeps at the most.

When the Peeps have all vanished, call out:

Hail! Hail! to the mighty Peeps of Spring!

Finally, distribute the chocolate rabbits. Say:

Behold the great chocolate rabbit!
As he hops through the land, he spreads joy and happiness!
O, how we adore the chocolate rabbit and his great big chocolate ears! (eat the rabbit’s ears)
Praise the chocolate rabbit, and his delicious chocolate tail! (eat the rabbit’s tail)
Honor this chocolate rabbit, and his chocolate hoppity legs! (eat the rabbit’s legs)
He is a wonderful rabbit, and he is special indeed! (eat the rest of the rabbit)

When the rabbits are all gone, say:

Hail! Hail! to the mighty chocolate rabbit of Spring!

Give everyone a glass of milk, and raise your drinks in a toast to these three symbols of the season.

To the jelly beans!
To the Peeps!
To the chocolate rabbit!
We drink in your honor!

Drink your milk, and sit back to enjoy the sensation of being stuffed with ritual candy.